Those Times..

There are times when you have these massive butterflies somersaulting within you.
It is a sign....A sign you are sick with nervousness.
I'm treading every step slowly, anticipating something might be lurking in the corridor.
Should I be prepared to run?
Or make a dash for it anyway, that way I've got a head start...atleast.
The problem is, I don't know what I'm actually running from?
What if I ran for it, instead of away from it?
But I am sure it is there. The signs are all showing.
Hm, should I just confront it? Where are you, show yourself?
But, alas, I'm too of a coward for that. I'll wait for it to show itself, thinking and making myself falsely believe, that this is what true bravery is.
Oh, where is my Rajput sword? Phew, right beside me.
That's a comfort. If need be I can make a flee with it.
Haah, that would ensure I have the upper ground. Or would it really?
I guess I could never prove I had the sword, and the higher ground if I did run for it.
So running was never the solution.
I need to live through it, don't I? That's right!
I'm part of the making of history, not the missing pages.
My story is to be told in its entirety not stopped abruptly.
Hey, I'm better than you, cos I can endure this.
I don't need petrol to keep me running, I just need those butterflies to get lost.
In hindsight, its probably not gonna be so bad.

And, by the way, where did those butterflies go? Please don't come back again.
My thoughts lack the steadiness when your somersaulting.
So butterflies, listen, if Seethai can do it, I can do it.
What are little butterflies going to do to me?
That was not to be interpreted as a challenge, though.

When you don't mean to hurt people...

I never meant to hurt anyone. I still don't.
I may seem adamant and stubborn.
But this will bring happiness to everyone.
This is not a little matter to me, to forget abt, like the chips packet that I asked for as a child.
It's more than that. Its my life.
I would tell you a 100 things to convince how talented and worth my choice is.
But your face stops me. Your abrupt conclusions stick my mouth together.
Whilst my heart is pounding away, ready to cry out in tears.
I can titfortat and excel your arguments for my heart is behind the cause.
How can I change that, my heart?
But I can't change. I just can't. I really don't mean to hurt you.
It's for the long term peace and happiness of everyone.
I'm so grateful for everything.
I was annoying at birth, and am still annoying.
But maybe this was destiny for me? Why not think it that why?
If only I could open my mouth and explain it all to you.

A Return to Blogging after a Pause

I was, of recent, actually, rather than on a subconscious level, appreciating the level of technology surrounding us. This occurred especially in light of the recent FB group controversy and the confusion over our private lives intermingling with our public lives.

Whilst I was on Facebook, I would have never considered myself an addict, but I immensely enjoyed spending time on it to look at photos and what not updates of 'facebook friends'. Apart from my "real" friends(people I actually met on a regular basis in real life, and new of their lives), I found my self, unconsciously, making generalisations of people based on just what they potrayed facebook. At times, it was so bad, that I would consider someone else discriminatory, for making those comments. But how often do we reflect our true selves on Facebook. Even before this question is asked, what is the point of analysing these people so meticulousy on Facebook. Was I going to employ them, was I looking for a potential partner or friend(considering most of them were meant to be my 'friend' or atleast acquaintance')? No. It is the simple nosiness that is innate in us. I found myself doing the same thing, old 'paati's' do in India, and I get so cut at them for doing so. The paati's would munch their betel leaves, and having nothing else to do with their time, would go 'avanga veetla.......intha ponnu....etc'

It's funny how generation gaps aren't really generation gaps. Are we really more modern, and fair in our perspective? I think, on reflection, its more just the same old prejudice bundled up and expressed in a different way. Oh, the beauty of technology enabling us to do this even in our uber busy lives.