A Return to Blogging after a Pause

I was, of recent, actually, rather than on a subconscious level, appreciating the level of technology surrounding us. This occurred especially in light of the recent FB group controversy and the confusion over our private lives intermingling with our public lives.

Whilst I was on Facebook, I would have never considered myself an addict, but I immensely enjoyed spending time on it to look at photos and what not updates of 'facebook friends'. Apart from my "real" friends(people I actually met on a regular basis in real life, and new of their lives), I found my self, unconsciously, making generalisations of people based on just what they potrayed facebook. At times, it was so bad, that I would consider someone else discriminatory, for making those comments. But how often do we reflect our true selves on Facebook. Even before this question is asked, what is the point of analysing these people so meticulousy on Facebook. Was I going to employ them, was I looking for a potential partner or friend(considering most of them were meant to be my 'friend' or atleast acquaintance')? No. It is the simple nosiness that is innate in us. I found myself doing the same thing, old 'paati's' do in India, and I get so cut at them for doing so. The paati's would munch their betel leaves, and having nothing else to do with their time, would go 'avanga veetla.......intha ponnu....etc'

It's funny how generation gaps aren't really generation gaps. Are we really more modern, and fair in our perspective? I think, on reflection, its more just the same old prejudice bundled up and expressed in a different way. Oh, the beauty of technology enabling us to do this even in our uber busy lives.

Ponderings

It's been a long time since I wrote me last blog. And I've learnt a lot in the midst.

I've learnt that I am very ignorant of the world. I don't know many things. Experience working wiht a team in an intensive atmosphere has taught me so much about myself, and how inadequate I am in dealing with others, and that has nothing to do with who I am, and the fact I am different from others. I was always under the misconception that I was bright, but this was basked in the ignorance of interacting with selected people.

I also, for the first time in my life, submitted an assignment, and that, too, not any assignment, but something we, as a team have been working on all Summer. 3 months of work accumulated together still could not be finished by a deadline that we knew for 7months. The experience of submitting an assignment late is very new. But it taught me about the art of perfection, something that I'd lost along the way. I would always submit an essay earlier/on time, rather than face the tension of an approaching deadline, and not meeting it. What I felt today, was the height of adrenaline, as the clock ticked past and the deadline passed. But I saw and discovered a talent that I had lost. Something, I had as a child. The skill of perfection. I saw it in my teammates and I knew this was the lesson, this was why I was to endure the experience.

I also learnt in these last few days, about a recurring theme in my life. All my really close friends in my life have been close to their mothers. Surely, this is not an accident. Was this God's way of teaching me a lesson? And I just keep failing to learn it.

For me, she is this magical goddess that I want to dislike for giving up, but I can't , because she is so perfect.

Love...

She loved him so much, but left him.
Why did she leave him?
I think, I think and I will never understand.
The parents surely played a part.
But that is not the entirety.
She was such a strong brave person,
But felt the wrath of emotion.
I still can't accept that would let her
destroy the emotion she felt.
Why? Why did she leave?
No matter what anyone says,
Will I ever be able to understand this sacfrice?
She is god in my view, for this act.
Yet still, why? Why weren't you selfish?
You hurt another equally special person in the process?
Why did you leave?
Does that mean you love another person now?
Can you truly? ( I suppose I have an answer for this question, though)
That evil other person.
But why? Why did you do this to yourself?
You were crazy, your destiny
it was all changed by you leaving.
But why? FATE.
I don't believe in Fate
I know there is something.
But what?
You persisted so long.
What made you give up?
Is there any explanation.
I would give anythign even now
for you to meet your dreams
even at my cost.
Is that what sacrifice is?
But your love was always more dear.
And the special place you held in his heart
Is still there, no matter what
Just like the special place in your heart.
Why did that third person have to interfere.
Why was he not a gentleman and leave.
I hate him more, than I'm confused about
Why you left?
Why?