Kirukal

My recently discovered love in life is to speak in Tamil. For many years I was brought up in a foreign nation learning Tamil. I loved it, but not in the same way I do now. It was predominantly an academic pursuit in those years of struggle as I fought my way through my ‘thithikum’ thamil.
I was one of the few who did Tamil in VCE. The number hasn’t increased since, it’s still quite small. But there’s a change, at least for me. A change I would attribute to my final years of Tamil. But more so to the opportunity to teach Tamil that came knocking at my door. It really changed the perspective of Tamil for me. It gave me something outside the walls of our home to expose Tamil. I felt I had the responsibility to set to these kids. It wasn’t like in the Tamil classes, where the minute I walked out, I spoke in English even to my Tamil friends. Why on earth did that happen? It beats me, why beyond the constant murmuring and reminders of parents to speak in Tamil that we didn’t. Confidence, or lack of it. OR more likely the fact that we wouldn’t look cool or respected amongst our peers. One could only guess, even though I lived through those days. There just didn’t seem to be a reason. One of the reason less things we did in our childhood days.
My first light was Hindi class, where everyone enjoyed speaking in Hindi. The VCE bunch I caught the bus with loved talking it. My inability to understand and talk back, motivated me to continuously attend. I admired the colloquialism and masti they had with their mother tongue. It was a spark to focus on my Tamil as well, my mother tongue, to be confident as them.
Even after teaching, it was still academic pursuits that my Tamil focussed on. Without fun, who was it going to motivate. The major problem is, I had no peers my age, who I could just have a laugh with in Tamil. More accurately, I had peers, even Tamil, but no one I was comfortable in speaking Tamil to. I hadn’t discovered the slang or the kindal that was unique to Tamil. Only at uni, on discovering and meeting all the amazing Tamil people, do I truly wish I was so much better at Tamil. I count my lucky stars at least I know this much to have decent convo. But whatever I do, I will pursue my dreams, a further study in Tamil awaits me. But before that, embracing language, for the fun it brings has livened my days.
I know I hurt many in the process by excluding them. But I can’t stop my love, can I? I shall make the effort. Because I know I feel the same way when people speak a foreign lang around me. But with no pain there is no happiness. I think to preserve such a classical language a little pain is justified.
Anyhoos, what needs to be done, is to really get the next and following generation s to love tamil like me. Not search in the dark alley for many years as I suffered learning Tamil. Something needs to be done.